A newlywed couple’s honeymoon is going viral for all the wrong reasons. The 33-year-old wife posted on Reddit that her 30-year-old husband took her upgrade on their honeymoon flight to Mexico.
All the details are in the AITA category under the subject: “for ignoring my husband during our flight when he expressed anxiety over flying?” It’s embedded below.
AITA for ignoring my husband during our flight when he expressed anxiety over flying?
by inAmItheAsshole
She says: “I fly a lot for my job, so I have racked up a lot of miles. My husband isn’t a big fan of flying, though he has gotten better and tends to just hold my hand and close his eyes during take off and landing (mostly okay when in the air). When I booked our flights I requested to use my points if an upgrade to business class became available, but made it clear I only wanted this upgrade if two seats became available and then basically forgot about it.”
Then comes the day of our flight. I was so excited for this trip, I checked us in online, all is going well, and then when we go to board the person scanning out boarding passes stops us. She says it seems that my husband was upgraded to business class, but ONLY him and asks if that is okay. I immediately say no, we are on our honeymoon and would like to stay together. But then my husband jumps in and says, “No it’s fine, I’ll go to business class!” I look at him in complete shock and he tells me that I fly all the time and have been in business class before, but he hasn’t. So he deserves a chance to experience it.
I see we are holding up the line, so I feel like I just need to agree and get on the plane. To say I am pissed off is an understatement. He is all smiles, taking his seat and I go back to my seat where they sit me next to an old woman with a baby on her lap where my husband should be sitting.
Within maybe 5-10 minutes of sitting there, trying to hold back tears because my husband left me alone on our flight during our honeymoon (and uses MY points for his upgrade no less), he starts to text me saying he feels anxiety over flying. I ignore the texts and stop looking at my phone.
Within maybe an hour after we are in the air, he comes to the back of the plane to find me, offers me half of his business class breakfast and asks me why I was ignoring him – that he was scared and needed me to tell him it’d be okay since I am such an experienced flyer. I told him maybe he should have thought about that before leaving me alone before our honeymoon even really began. He gets angry, tells me that this may be the only time he gets to fly business class and he was giving me half his breakfast to make up for it so I could at least be supportive of his genuine fear. I roll my eyes, sarcastically say “thanks” and he goes back up to his seat.
When we landed I tried to just move on and forget about it so that we could just enjoy our honeymoon, but he guilt tripped me about not comforting him via text before take off and now I am wondering if I am being unreasonable and should have just let him enjoy his time in business class and assure him it’d be okay. So AITA?”
If you don’t know what AITA stands for, you can Google it.
I can relate to someone who has anxiety on planes since I used to be terrified of flying. One way I got over it is by flying up front or at least in an aisle seat with extra legroom. However, this guy really messed up … and others agree.
Here are just a few of the comments:
@eviewOk929: NTA – He thinks flying business class is more important than spending time with you at the start of your honeymoon. His priorities aren’t straight….
@owls_and_cardinals: NTA. Your husband made a really questionable decision and he was essentially having to live with the consequence of the decision. He jumped at the chance to sit – alone – in biz class and I guess it didn’t occur to him how evidently very reliant he is on you during flying. Regardless of his phobia, he’s a grown man, and it seems like he made it through takeoff just fine if he was asking your help when he’d already been served food. It’s like he was using his need for you as a weapon, to make you feel obligated to forgive him.
@Goodytwotoes: NTA – this is hilarious, because this exact same thing happened to my husband and I on our honeymoon. We argued about who should take it (both insisting the OTHER person should take it) and then eventually decided on trading seats halfway through the flight. It was great. We both got to enjoy first class and then we had a fantastic honeymoon. I also have anxiety flying, texted my husband about it from first class, and he talked me down. You guys don’t really seem like you’re in a partnership at all.
Splitting the upgrade might sound like a great idea but the problem is that most airlines do not let couples share an upgrade. You’re not supposed to switch seats but he wouldn’t have known that since he doesn’t fly much.
However, it’s their honeymoon so it doesn’t matter if your seats are on the toilet. You can’t leave your bride hanging … especially when they’re her points. On the other hand, he has never flown up front before so she could have played it off and said, “Here’s my wedding present to you, enjoy.” I can almost guarantee that’s what my wife would have done if they were her points. Unfortunately, it doesn’t sound like this marriage is going to last long.
As @OldestCrone wrote: “Dear, this is not a good beginning. Please do not combine your finances or make any big purchases for a couple of years. You may wish to reconsider this marriage. I am sorry, but he has just shown you who he really is.”
For years now, my advice to couples is to go on your honeymoon or a honeymoon-like trip before you get married. Traveling with someone, especially real travel, not an all-inclusive resort where you’re just sitting poolside and being pampered, is a unique opportunity to really get to know your partner, and yourself for that matter.
My wife and I are fortunate because we’re both travel journalists and we have traveled hundreds of times together; we had traveled to over 30 countries before we were married and over 70 now. Our travels together showed me how she interacted with people all over the world and reinforced what I already knew – that she was a very kind and considerate person. I had seen how she treated hotel, airline and restaurant staff and also, how she coped with delays and obstacles. We were in India during the terrorist attack in 2008 and it was extremely stressful. We both got to see how the other person coped and I knew that if I was ever going to get married, she was the one.
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Honeymoon?? It was hers to giveaway, keep or not use. Has nothing to do with “fear” of flying. Essentially he stole from her due to airline error. Don’t expect his character to get any better. Too bad that she married this turd already.