Traveling has always been a great litmus test for relationships and for years, I’ve told couples that they should take their honeymoon before tying the knot! Taking a honeymoon before getting married might seem unconventional, but it can be one of the most revealing and beneficial experiences for couples. As someone who has often traveled with my girlfriends, I’ve seen firsthand how travel brings out different sides of people, both the good and the … challenging.
Here are 8 reasons why a honeymoon before getting married is a great relationship test and growth opportunity.
1. Travel strips away the everyday routine
When you’re in your day-to-day life, it’s easy to stay in your comfort zone. But travel pulls you out of that routine and places you in unfamiliar situations. This shift can reveal how you and your partner cope with stress, fatigue, and the unexpected. Do you find yourselves working as a team when things go wrong, or do you end up at odds with each other?
2. Managing stress together
Travel isn’t always smooth sailing. From flight delays and lost luggage to navigating a new city, stress is often an unavoidable part of the journey. How you and your partner handle these moments together can be very telling. Does one of you take charge while the other shuts down? Or do you both remain calm and tackle the problem as a team? Understanding each other’s stress responses can prepare you for the inevitable challenges of marriage. When my wife, Natalie, lost her passport in Estonia, it was incredibly stressful but fortunately, we were able to handle it smoothly together. It’s such a stressful story to me that I don’t even like talking about it but you can read Natalie’s full account of the experience here.
3. Observing how your partner treats others
Another insightful aspect of travel is observing how your partner treats other people. From hotel staff to restaurant servers, the way someone interacts with strangers can be a window into their character. Are they kind and patient, or do they lose their temper easily? This behavior often translates into how they will treat you in moments of tension or disagreement. Personally, if a girl I went on a first date with talked down to a waiter, janitor, flight attendant, gate agent or anyone for that matter, there would be no second date.
4. Uncovering expectations and compromises
Traveling together helps highlight expectations you may have of each other. Are your expectations reasonable? For instance, if one person wants to pack every moment with activities while the other prefers leisurely days, can you find a middle ground? This balance is crucial in a long-term partnership. I do think couples should compromise and do what each other wants on alternate days. However, if it’s a long trip, are they okay being independent? In my opinion, there’s nothing wrong if one person wants to just hang out at the pool while the other wants to explore the destination – as long as no one resents the other for doing what they prefer.
5. Coping with jet lag and fatigue
Fatigue can bring out the worst in anyone. Jet lag, long flights, and constant movement can test your patience and resilience. How do you and your partner handle exhaustion? Do you support each other, or do small irritations turn into full-blown arguments? Recognizing how you both cope when you’re not at your best can provide a realistic picture of your future together.
6. Dealing with the unexpected
Travel plans rarely go perfectly. Canceled flights, bad weather, or lost reservations are all part of the adventure. Is your partner flexible and adaptable, or do they struggle when things don’t go according to plan? Flexibility in travel often mirrors flexibility in life, and knowing this beforehand can be invaluable.
7. Routine vs. spontaneity
Some people thrive on routine, while others crave spontaneity. Traveling together helps reveal these tendencies. If one of you needs a strict schedule and the other prefers to go with the flow, how do you reconcile these differences? Understanding each other’s needs and finding compromises is essential for a harmonious marriage. I’ve always been a spontaneous person. I remember waking up one morning and saying to an old girlfriend who was a flight attendant “Let’s go to Australia tonight!” Since she was a flight attendant, we only had to pay the taxes. We packed up and went Down Under. When we met, my level-headed wife wasn’t that spontaneous but she has adapted and now can be extremely spontaneous and I’ve adapted to her ways of planning ahead.
8. Money matters
Finances are one of the biggest sources of conflict in relationships. Traveling together can give you a clear picture of how your partner handles money. Are they frugal or extravagant? Do you both have similar spending habits, or do you find yourselves constantly clashing over expenses? Being on the same page financially is critical for a successful marriage. Also does one person expect the other to pay the whole way or do they offer to share the costs? I’m old school in terms of thinking the man should pay but I always appreciated when my date at least offered.
Compatibility check
Ultimately, a pre-wedding honeymoon is a compatibility check. It allows you to see each other in various situations, from the thrilling to the challenging. It’s a chance to assess whether your lifestyles, coping mechanisms and values align. It also gives you an opportunity to address any issues before taking the big step of marriage.
Marriage is a significant commitment and knowing your partner inside and out is essential. Traveling together before saying “I do” can help you discover areas of compatibility and incompatibility that might otherwise go unnoticed. To be honest, I never thought I would get married and really thought I would be content as a bachelor for my whole life. But once I met Natalie and traveled internationally with her, I knew I would be an absolute fool if I didn’t marry her. I could tell she was an amazing person and would be the best mother and you know what? I was right.
It’s not about seeking perfection but understanding whether you can navigate life’s journey together. So, pack your bags and take that pre-wedding honeymoon—it might just be the most important trip you ever take.
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