Despite Southwest Airlines’ total meltdown over Christmas, there’s one thing we all have to agree on – they employ the funniest flight attendants in the sky. You will see one of their best in the video below. RELATED: Hilarious Video of Flight Attendant’s In-Flight Safety Demonstration
I’ve also included the transcript below but before you watch it, just read some of the top comments first:
daisyduke4791: need more flight attendants like him!! love it!! ??
Melanie Hatjigiannak: This airline needs to hold tight to this flight attendant. He is your absolute best brand ambassador ????????
Bonnie Shea: I’ve flown on his flight before. He’s hilarious.
Here’s the full transcript of the video, which is almost as funny to read as it is to watch the video:
“You’re traveling this evening aboard our Boeing 737-800 series aircraft. We’re gonna ask for your attention while the flight attendant points out the safety features of this aircraft.
We’re gonna ask you to pay attention to my ex wife up here and her 2 new boyfriends there in the Central highway. Now, folks, in the event that you haven’t been in an automobile since 1942, a flight attendant has to show you how to fasten a seatbelt. So you do this by fasten it. You do that. And that seat belt needs to be low and tight across your hips just like the hot pink speedo I’m gonna be wearing when we get to a hotel hot tub tonight in Manchester.
Now, folks, you don’t like the jokes of the service tonight, there’s 8 ways out of this airplane. You feel free to use them. That’s 2 forward exits four over wing window exits and 2 rear exit doors. Signs on the ceiling and the disco lights on the floor they’ll lead you to these exits.
In that seat back pocket in front of it’s a safety information card. outlines the safety features of this aircraft as well as our evacuation processes. Please take a moment to look it over. In the event that Captain Michael decides to turn the love airline, Southwest Airlines into a cruise this evening somewhere between here in Manchester, we’re gonna instruct you how to remove this light vest from beneath the seat.
Folks, this is a life vest, it is not a toilet seat cover, you place it over your head, you bring that black strap around your tiny little waist, you snap it in front and pull to tighten. To inflate the life vest after you exit the aircraft, you pull down on the red tab and for those of you that have to do absolutely everything the difficult way, well, you blow into that red tube located at the shoulder. The very best of luck to you with that but then kick, paddle, kick, paddle over to the shore. This cabin crew will be behind you shortly. Ah folks, you’ll be able to recognize us, we’ll be the ones carrying the liquor kit and the world-famous fresh peanuts.
Now that cabin staff are passing through the cabin at this time to make sure that your shoes and socks and handbags match. Folks, I’m really sorry, but I have to say, what I noticed during this parade of boarding so many of you need a little fashion consultation. But kick it, cram it, and shove it all the way underneath that seat in front of you.
Now folks, it’s a nonsmoking flight for the next hour 37 minutes over to Manchester. but for those of you that have to enjoy a cigarette this evening, we have 2 entertainment lounges for you. One’s out there on the left wing, the other one right across the hallway on the right wing. And if you think you’re talented enough to light it. Oh, you can certainly smoke it but the rest of us were gonna enjoy two feature films this evening… Gone With the Wind and Bye Bye Birdie.
Ladies and gentlemen, the messages is very, very clear and very, very simple. Don’t be naughty in the potty. leave that webcam alone in there, you end up on YouTube next week. now, folks, it’s $2200 for tampering
with the smoke detector in an aircraft lavatory. and folks, you know, if you had $2200, you’d be on US Airways and first class back over there to Manchester tonight.
In the event of a decompression, four saffron yellow buttercup mask designed by Gucci and Martha Stewart, we’re gonna drop from that compartment overhead to start the flow of oxygen. You have to first stop screaming. You let go of the person next to you. you reach up, grab that mask full extended to plastic tube and place it over your big nose and continue wearing that mask until otherwise notified by one of your four fabulously dressed flight attendants. As the flight attendants that you’ll see running about our cabin absolutely naked tonight, folks, they just simply cannot be trusted.
Now, ladies, for those of you traveling with someone that’s going to need your assistance this evening. Ladies. yeah, you know exactly who I’m talking about. Yes, ma’am, that very dear husband of yours. Dear when those mask fall, you may wanna sit back, think about it for a bit. Diamonds. Diamonds.
For those of you traveling with your children. Why? And for those of you that traveling with 2 of your children what in the world were you thinking tonight? But when those masks fall, put the mask on the bright one. That one’s gonna contribute to your retirement most successfully.
Ladies and gentlemen, do us a favor this evening. Thanks for coming out and joining us on the holiday weekend, St. Patrick’s Day. Sit back, relax, enjoy our inflight hospitality or you can sit up and be tense. That choice is yours. The pleasure to serve you this evening, it is certainly ours.
And folks, we have one final message for you. We love you, you love us, we’re much faster than the bus. We hope you enjoy our hospitality. Marry one of us and you’ll fly free.
Now folks you have an hour and 37 minutes to think about that wedding proposal. But you need to know one of us is a little higher maintenance than the other three.”
The video is at least a few years old but it has just resurfaced thanks to TikTok and I’m happy that it has because it’s an instant classic and we could all use a dose of laughter about something that happened in the sky instead of reading about all the craziness we’ve been seeing on planes and in airports. 2023 was kicked off with two of the most outrageous incidents I’ve seen. Here are the videos that you have to see to believe:
Shocking. I don’t know what’s happening on airplanes and at airports anymore but it’s really got to stop.
- Wild Video: The Craziest Thing You’ve Ever Seen on a California Freeway … And That’s Saying Something
- VIDEO: Out of Control Passenger Flips Her Lid at Check-in Counter
- VIDEO: Tourist in Mexico Booed and Doused With Water By Angry Mob After Climbing Sacred Mayan Temple
- VIDEO: Odell Beckham Jr Escorted Off AA Miami to LAX Flight
- VIDEO: American Airlines Passenger Arrested After Performing Nazi Salute and Screaming ‘Sieg Heil’ at Seattle-Tacoma International Airport
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