I love hotels. I really do. Fresh sheets, room service, someone else making the bed. What’s not to love? But after thousands of hotel stays, I’ve learned that hotels also have a special talent for slowly driving guests insane. Here are the things that consistently push me over the edge.
Resort Fees
Let’s start with the obvious scam. Resort fees are the hotel equivalent of “surprise, we lied.” Just build it into the rate and stop pretending I’m getting value from a yoga mat I’ll never use.
Slow Elevators
I always seem to pick hotels that have really slow elevators—especially when I’m on a high floor, so it’s not easy to walk up or down.
Connecting Room Doors
Nothing says privacy like a thin door separating you from a stranger’s TV, phone calls, and marriage problems.
When the Front Desk Doesn’t Answer the Phone
If I wanted to be ignored, I’d stay home. When I call the front desk, I expect someone to answer in a timely manner.
Hotel Alarm Clocks
Especially the ones that go off at 3:47 a.m. because the last guest had an early morning flight to catch. Bonus rage points if you can’t figure out how to turn it off, confirm it’s off, or unplug it.
Bathrooms With No Doors
An open-concept bathroom is not luxury. It’s a design crime, especially if you’re traveling with someone.
Showers With No Doors
Who decided this was a good idea? Nothing like turning the bathroom into a splash zone while freezing cold air rushes in.
Toiletries You Can’t Read Without Glasses
Is this shampoo, conditioner, or body wash? I have no idea, and now my hair feels weird.
Cheap Shampoo and Conditioner
If my hair feels worse after washing it, something has gone very wrong. Especially, since I have very little hair.
Carpet Instead of Hardwood Floors
Hotel carpet has seen things. Things no amount of vacuuming can fix.
Bedspreads and Decorative Bedding
We all know those decorative throws and bed runners never get washed. Yet there they are, daring you to touch them.
Rude Guests in the Hallway at Night
If you’re speaking loudly while walking down the hallway at 1 a.m., please know that everyone hates you equally.
Loud Employees
Being woken up at 5 a.m. by staff chatting, laughing, or yelling into walkie-talkies should not be part of the experience.
Housekeepers Slamming Room Doors
Why slam the door when you’re just going to open it again in 30 seconds? Prop it open.
Loud A/C Units
I don’t need white noise that sounds like a jet engine preparing for takeoff.
Annoying Bright Lights
Why is there a glowing LED from the TV, the smoke alarm, the light switch, and something I can’t even identify aimed directly at my face? This is one of the main reasons why I travel with gaffer tape.
No Blackout Curtains
Sunrise should not double as a wake-up call unless I asked for it.
Mini Bar Attendants
Fortunately, most hotels are doing away with minibars, but the ones that still have them have workers checking the contents at what always seems to be the worst time.
Long Waits for Valet and Check-In
Nothing sets the tone for a stay like standing in line after a long trip.
Hotels can be wonderful, but these little (and not-so-little) annoyances add up fast. I’ll still keep checking in, but I reserve the right to complain. Now it’s your turn. What drives you nuts?
